Now that Chuy’s walked out, it seems that you are in need of an assistant. I’d gladly give up stalking you if you’d hire me. Here are a few reasons why I’d make a great assistant:
1.) Assistant starts with ass and I have a great one. Ask anyone.
2.) I have a great memory.
3.) I too love to wear vests and sweater vests.
4.) I don’t have a sex tape…but I could make one to boost ratings during sweeps.
5.) I wouldn’t sexually harass you. Wait, no. That’s not true. I’d probably stare at your fun bags. A lot.
6.) I love making fun of people and I am really good at it.
7.) What am I talking about? Oh, right. Assistant…
Also, please see my first post. I think many of the reasons that I would make a great stalker translate well to assisting.
Think about it. I’m jobless and could start tomorrow.